Run #489: 20-July-24
Hares: Onefer & Ballbanger
Location: Bats View Point
GPS Coordinates: 12.872892, 99.938949
Run report for the splendid Cha-am Hash #489 at the Bat Cave by Donga
CAH3 Walkers trail set by Onefer, Ballbanger and Dragon Tail according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 5.3 km, completed in a moving time of 65 minutes.
Video file of Walkers Trail by Tinks: https://www.relive.cc/view/vQvxQDVmwBO
Bite Marks attempt at the Rambo trail according to his GPS tracker was 8 km in a moving time of 67 minutes.
Run #488: 6-July-24
Hares: Mudman & Puss in Boots
Location: West of Wat Huay Mongkol, Nong Phlap, Hua Hin
GPS Coordinates: 12.54596, 99.75494
CAH3 Walkers trail set by Mudman and Puss in Boots according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 4.568 km completed in a moving time of 65.56 min.
Bite Marks attempt at the Rambo trail according to his GPS tracker was 9.981 km in a moving time of 83:44 min.
Video file of Walkers Trail by Tinks: https://www.relive.cc/view/vYvE2VnpeGO
Run #487: 22-June-24
Hares: Donga & Honeymoon
Location: Billabong Resort, not far from the Springfield golf club
GPS Coordinates: 12.698302, 99.86482
On After: Billabong Resort
CAH3 Walkers trail set by Donga and Honeymoon according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 5.0 km completed in a moving time of 64 min
Video file of Walkers Trail by Tinks: https://www.relive.cc/view/vYvE2VnpeGO
Bite Marks attempt at the Rambo trail according to his GPS tracker was 7.44 km in a moving time of 60:18 min.
Write-up by Head Ballcock: Kitty's Last
On a glorious, warm, and balmy day, we gathered at the Billabong Carpark for Run No. 487. Whilst waiting to start, I ventured inside for a quick chat with Brian, who in his inimitable style, told me of his second adventure with his gas BBQ. Not content with setting himself on fire when the beast backfired the first time, for an encore, he did it again, resulting in the loss of eyebrows, the front of his hair, and a crispy look to his complexion. In fact, he reminded me of the Indian wallah in Ain't Arf Hot Mum.
Hares were Donga and Honey Moon, fresh back from Oz and the Queensland Outback (see recent email for more details). Donga explained the peculiarities of the trail in the usual Donga fashion. Most hashers did not understand a word he said but set off anyway. After a bit of a scuffle at the start, the trail was found, which crossed the main road in front of the Billabong.
The local drivers seemed intent on stopping everyone by speeding up just as we crossed, but with some nifty footwork and a body swerve or two, we all crossed safely. On through pineapple fields, hedgerows, and along farm tracks, we went, only for the first false trail to be found. Those front runners returned from whence they had come, causing a slight bottleneck on the trail.
We pressed on with the right trail being established. Donga, by now, was leading the hashers to ensure no one got lost, which he later indignantly explained was necessary as he was also Hash Flash! As we emerged from some woods, we passed an extremely deep gravel excavation, which was thankfully not part of the trail. It was, however, very large and well-formed.
Further false trails were encountered, but by now we were all used to these irritations and so we were able to find the correct trails quite quickly. As we approached the last part of the trail, we noticed a gathering of hashers searching for the trail. But there was a reluctance to believe that we were meant to cross a massive gravel excavation.
Once the cry "On On" was heard, off they went like lemmings to their fate. Those older and wiser members realized that there was a good trail around the perimeter of the excavation and so set off for the On In, having avoided the strenuous descent into and ascent from the bowels of the earth. A short distance later, we could see the Billabong, and the pace noticeably quickened as the thought of a nice cold beer spurred the hashers homewards.
After a pause to regain breath, have a beer, and enjoy the evening sunset, Kitty called the circle and announced her departure to Germany and hence her resignation as GM. She also appealed for volunteers to form a new committee. Needless to say, no one was killed in the rush.
Good luck, Kitty.
GOM
For younger members, a Last is what the cobbler killed his wife with.
Run #486: 8-June-24
Hares: Drag Queen
Location: Good Moon Restaurant
GPS Coordinates: 12.542120, 99.912794
On After: Good Moon Restaurant
a2ff06e6-d43e-4e5c-b9ba-cebeca791b3a.mp4Despite having a dose (Covid) Drag Queen and Noname Avril managed to lay the trail for run #486.
The herd gathered in the car park of the Good Moon restaurant, at 1655, Rubber duck, standing in for Drag Queen, called the circle. As there were no hares RD related what DQ had passed on to him.
At 17:00 the herd moved out. After about an hour the first runner, Flying Scotsman, returned followed closely by the other runners. The walkers then started staggering back. Refreshments were provided by the beirmaister Mud Man.
RD received a call from Smelly Fingers saying he was off paper and lost. After working out where he was RD gave him direction to the carpark. 10 minutes later SF rang back, he was still unsure how to get back and was knackered. Donga volunteered to be a good Samaritan and went to rescue SF. As soon as they returned RD called the circle.
The runners and walkers said that the trail, a mixture of new and old trails was good, the walkers agreed. RD was given a down down as a proxy for DQ.
Newcomers and visitors were invited into the circle, from Phuket, Semen stains, Sub standard, Doesn't touch the sides, Butt plug, Open plug and one other.
Semen stains, Sub standard, Doesn't touch the sides have just moved to Hua Hin. Noname Gerald was welcomed back, as was Hugs and Cute Comer and all had down downs.
Noname Gerald was brought back and the herd was asked to find a name for him. After much debate, it was agreed to name him Sauerkrap. RD performed the ceremony and the Beer Wenches christened him with iced water.
Bite mark and Easy off gave the location of the next H2H3 hash as being at Sam Phraya, Cha Am.
As there was no other business the circle was closed and social drinking resumed. About 22 attended the on after in the restaurant.
Run #485: 25-May-24
Hares: Bite Mark & Easy Off (Virgin Hares)
Location: Haui Sai Royal Development Study Centre (RDSC)
GPS Coordinates: 12.707582, 99.902768
On After: 19th Hole on Klong Road
CAH3 Walkers trail set by Bite Mark and Easy Off according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 4.9 km completed in a moving time of 73.58 min.
Video file of Walkers Trail by Tinks: https://www.relive.cc/view/vPv4V58gZ36
Run #484: 11-May-24
Hares: Knockout Neptune, Max Factor, Aunties Bitch
Location: Police K9 Training Centre Area, Sun, Sand and Sea Hotel parking area
GPS Coordinates: 12.685540, 99.961872
On After: The Good Time restaurant
CAH3 Walkers trail set by Knockout Neptune, Max Factor and Aunties Bitch according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 4.2 km completed in a moving time of 58.21 min.
Rambo Trail according to Bite Mark GPS tracker was 6.8 km in a moving time of 63.13 min.
Run #483: 27-April-24
Hares: Scrotum Head and Black Buttocks
Location: Near Stamford International University
GPS Coordinates: 12.636111, 99.923600
On After: Chainat Kitchen
Run #482: 13-Apr-24
Hares: Head Ball Cock & Hong Ting Tong
Location: Near Black Mountain and Big Boom Farm
GPS Coordinates: 12.608753, 99.902487
On After: 60’s Town Hua Hin
Run #481: 30-Mar-24
Hares: Tinks and Family
Location: Near the intersection of Soi 112 and Route 2004
GPS Coordinates: 12.505788, 99.903745
On After: Good Moon Restaurant
Run #480: 16-Mar-24
Hares: Dimwit & Hugs
Location: Near Cha Am Reservoir and Wat Pa Thammachat (Khao Phra Rob Monastery)
GPS Coordinates: 12.772226, 99.887555
On After: The 19th Hole Sport Bar & Grill
Run #479: 02-Mar-24
Hares: Wank Hovis & Mudman
Location: Just south of Hua Hin Soi 112 (Route 2052), not far from Wat Huay Mongkol
GPS Coordinates: 12.54312, 99.83296
On After: Roi Song Restaurant, Hua Hin Soi 102
Walkers trail (Cyan) set by Rank Hovis and Mudman according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 6.0 km completed in a moving time of 80:55 min.
Start to RW Split: 3.7 km in 51:3432.45 min.
RW Split to RW Merge: 0.5 km in 5:37 min.
RW Merge to Finish: 1.8 km in 23:44 min.
Rambo Trail (Yellow) according to Bite Mark GPS tracker was 9.3 km in a moving time of 74.33 min.
Trails went anti-clockwise.
On On Tinks
Run #478: 17-Feb-24
Hares: Swindlers Pissed & Rubber Duck
Location: Close to Dam near Remote Control Flying Club, Thap Tai
GPS Coordinates: 12.532794, 99.917027
On After: Good Moon restaurant
Hi Fellow Hashers
Saturday’s (17/02/2024) CAH3 Walkers trail set by Rubber Duck and Swindlers Pissed according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 3.5 km completed in a moving time of 50:42 min.
Elevation: Min 42 m, Max 57 m, Gain/Loss 52.0 m.
Maximum Slope: Ascent 10.9%, Descent 8.6%.
Start to RW Split & False Trail: 2.2 km in 32.45 min.
RW Split to RW Split 2: 0.5 km in 6:05 min.
RW Split 2 to Finish: 0.8 km in 11:52 min.
Trail went anti-clockwise.
On On Tinks
Run #477: 03-Feb-24
Hares: The trails have been marked by the Mystery Hare and will be remarked Saturday morning by Lucky Me
Location: Just before The Little Clay House next to Hua Hin Safari Park
GPS Coordinates: 12.475927, 99.933958
On After: Greenfield Valley Fishing Resort
Long Walk trail set by Slime and Lucky Me was 5.7 km completed in a moving time of 71:44 min.
Start to Short Walk Split: 1.1 km in 14.56 min.
SW Split to RW Split: 1.3 km in 17:30 min.
RW Split to SW Merge: 0.5 km in 5:46 min.
SW Merge to RW Merge: 0.8 km in 9:12 min.
RW Merge to Finish: 2.0 km in 24:20 min.
Trail went anti-clockwise.
On On Tinks
Run #476: 20-Jan-24
Hares: Cathusalem with Bob & Heather
Location: 250m West of Route 2004 near Hua Hin Immigration
GPS Coordinates: 12.554497, 99.896497
On After: Bullies Restaurant
Hash Chronicles: Hua Hin Hide-and-Seek
Trail Tales: On the 20th of January, a lively group of 42 Hashers, including 4 virgins, embarked on a rural escapade near the Immigration office in Hua Hin. The hares' cunning markings led the way, with twists, turns, and a maze of false trails, keeping the pack on their toes.
Low Crawl and Water Crossing Adventure: Amidst the rural charm, Hashers encountered a unique challenge: a very low obstacle that demanded an almost belly crawl (thoughts of military training under barbed wire came to mind), injecting a playful spirit into the run. An unexpected challenge that added spice to the pursuit.
Later, a water crossing, approximately 1.5m wide, tested the Hashers' agility, with an old milk crate (?) topped with metal mesh serving as the daring stepping stone.
Perfect Weather Perks: Blessed with fine and warm weather, the Hashers conquered the rural trail with enthusiasm, basking in the sun's glow without the heaviness of humidity, turning the pursuit into a refreshing and obstacle-filled escapade.
Colourful Attendance and Special Recognitions: The Hash was a lively gathering of 42 participants, including 4 virgins—those embarking on their first Hash adventure—and 4 returners, seasoned Hashers returning to the fold. The mix of fresh faces and familiar ones added to the vibrant atmosphere.
The post-run circle, led by guest RA’s Ding-A-Ling and visitor Alka Sleazer, brought about moments of hilarity and camaraderie. Special charges were levied, and amidst the festivities, Head Ballcock was honoured with a 100-run award—a testament to the dedication and Hashing spirit.
Despite considerable effort, the circle could not agree on a Hash Name for 'Just Bob' and thus this most important task of Hashing was deferred.
Heartfelt Welcome and Appreciation: In a touching moment, the Hash community warmly welcomed back the GM, who had recently returned from an ICU hospital stay. She expressed her sincere gratitude for the generosity of the Hashers in supporting with her medical bills. The outpouring of support and warm welcome created a poignant and heartening atmosphere.
Post-Run Celebrations: Following the run, most participants gathered for the standard circle—filled with announcements, awards, and good-natured banter. The circle set the stage for the evening's after-event—a hearty meal at Bullies.
Dinner at Bullies: The day's adventure concluded with a delicious evening meal at Bullies, where Hashers continued to share stories, laughter, and the camaraderie that defines the Hash House Harriers spirit.
Hash Vibes: The Hash near the Immigration Office on January 20th was more than a run; it was an exhilarating rural exploration with unexpected challenges, adding a unique twist to the global Hash House Harriers saga.
Until the Next Hunt: As the sun set on our rural Hua Hin escapade on January 20th, with a vibrant circle of 42 Hashers, we left with tired legs, full hearts, and the promise of another Hash adventure just around the bend.
Rgds,
Colin Faith
Run #475: 06-Jan-24
Hares: Dave the Rave & Sodomy
Location: 500m West of Hap Kapong Road (Route 3203), 1.5km North of Springfield Road traffic lights
GPS Coordinates: 12.743744, 99.915113
On After: Araya Cafe, Chompol Road
Comment by Cathusalem
I only attended to collect donations for the Help Drag Queen Recover fund and did not participate in the run. Apologies to the Hares, On On!
Write-up by Rubber Duck
Lead Hare, Dave the Rave, caused a traffic jam on the road to the carpark by stopping in the middle of the track to place the merge sign and shredded paper. Arriving hashers were greeted by Cathusalem, resplendent in a red dress and glittering hair. He proceeded to ask hashers to fill his handbag with donations for Drag Queen's medical bill's.
The circle was called and DtR instructed the herd, he cautioned that in some areas he had laid minimal paper.
As soon as the herd set off, the red dress lady departed with he bulging handbag.
Unlike most Hares he did not lie, after only 100 metres the paper disappeared, On On was called when someone found blue tape on a tree then a few strings of paper. The Walkers easily found the merge sign and more paper than the rest of the trail.
The runners and Walkers gave a thumbs up for the trail.
Visitors and returners were interrogated, 5 hashers without Hash shirts were punished.Dimwit told a terrible joke, Tinks informed the circle about the out station for H2H3, the circle was closed for social drinking.
Rd
Run #474: 23-Dec-23
Hares: Ding-a-Ling & Rambling Rose
Location: Ban Thap Tai public park
GPS Coordinates: 12.5371220, 99.9145030
On After: Christmas party at the Good Moon Restaurant
Photos from the run and the Christmas party
I wish to warn all of you that the ageing process has reduced my ability to remember anything of consequence. I therefore proceed with trepidation as my forthcoming manuscript will be vague at best or a complete misinterpretation of the event.
Anyway, I digress and will proceed under the adage “Do not let the truth get in the way of a good story”.
Between 2.00 to 3.00 on Saturday afternoon, a motley multinational gang of 30 or so hashers gathered to hear and experience what was in store for them.
Ding a Ling as principal hare for the day stepped forward to tell all about the run, unfortunately as Ding a Link heralds from Yorkshire his broad accent was wasted on the visiting contingent from China who could only guess what he was talking about.
At 3.02 exactly we all set off onto the trail through an undergrowth of tangled weeds and well-distributed rubbish. Fortunately, a winding dirt trail was encountered and we were then able to follow a well-marked trail, with the occasional Check or False Trail to deter any complacency of this being an easy stroll.
After 2km and a road crossing, we then experienced a strait trail of some 1.5km which allowed all of us backmarkers to see how far behind we were on the trail. Somewhere along this trail, the runners were directed off to the right to who knows where and reappeared about 300m from the finish point Thankfully at the end of this Mulsanne Strait (Le Mans race analogy) we also headed back on a dirt track over a dam and back to the finish to enjoy the waiting amber nectar.
After a pause for socializing and topping up a now-thirsty stomach with beer, we lurched into the final Circle to hear Rubber Duck condemn any miscreant of sins during the trail. As earlier advised my memory fails on how riveting the dialogue and charges apparently were.
General consensus of the trail was that it was marginally better than staying at home.
At about 5.00 we all started to dwindle away for a shower before returning to enjoy the Christmas party at the Good Moon Restaurant
Between 6.30 to 7.00 the hashers started arriving at Good Moon restaurant with different anticipation of what may be in store for this Christmas extravaganza
At 7.15 a buffet of Asian and Farang food was made available for the attendees who hit the tables like locusts’ so much so that when Ding a Ling arrived at 7.35 little was left for him – he was heard to cry that he was informed that the buffet would be available from 7.30 ……(life is a sh…t)
While we all sat down and started consuming vast quantities of food and alcohol our resident singer Dave the Vape treated us to the compendium of Alan Bennet / Frank Sinatra type croonin songs. Food and thirst sated Dave changed the mood for dancing which all the attending ladies were waiting for - Smoochy, Rock and Roll and Salsa were delivered for the feverish crowd to enjoy. It was at this point Knockout Neptune wished to demonstrate his dancing prowess and zoomed in on one of the Chinese ladies.
BIG MISTAKE if this lady had not won the Strictly Come Dancing Competition or a least been a runner up it would have been a travesty. Swirling, overhead and underhand turns, bum gyrating and manic leg movements left Knockout almost living up to his name and retiring completely knackered.
Fortunately, the other attendees were either engrossed in their own attempts at arms and leg rhythmic coordination or the voyeurs watching whether the breasts of Dava our Mongolian lady visitor would actually be fully contained by her skimpy bra.
As the evening wore on Cathusalem gave us a rendition of the trumpet voluntarily or similar and a hot off-the-press number he had penned himself. Although rhyming well we were all bemused by the terminology “The Sideways Hash”.
Finally, at 10.00 there was a movement towards the exits as hashers had either drunk too much, were exhausted by too much dancing, or had fallen out with their respective wives. For more information or clarification of any of the above please talk with Ding a Ling or Rubber Duck who probably have a completely different view of the day.
A great day and evening was had by all and congratulations must go to the restaurant staff and those who had organized a great day's entertainment.
by Knockout Neptune
Run #473: 09-Dec-23
Hares: Hugs & Cute Comer
Location: East of Bypass, West of Same Dam Place
GPS Coordinates: 12.679015, 99.896428
On After: 19th Hole Restaurant
Hi All
Firstly I have been railroaded into my first and after you all read this my last write up (unless money changes hands etc)
As this was my first hash back I thought I would get prepared and ready for my Batman sorry driver to pick me up at 3:30ish
I was told that the car was quite old but not quite prepared for what came round the corner to collect me as it had a close resemblance to Stephenson's rocket but to be fair it and the driver performed admirably and got us to our hash location smoothly.
I was looking forward to saying hi to everyone so quickly changed into my running shoes and warmed up doing 50 press ups and sit ups, and as I stretched my honed and toned lithe muscular frame a gentle breeze lifted my golden locks and sent them cascading over my bronzed shoulders , I could see the admiring glances I was getting so quickly replaced my hat and relaxed my muscles as
No sense in puffing out my chest and posing on my first hash back, Anyway I digress after saying hi to everyone we circled up and the hares hugmananny goat and cute cummer proceeded to tell us checks false trails etc go back on yourself follow paper on right then left side I was so confused at one stage that I didn’t know whether to follow my arse or my elbow , so put plan A into action follow ding a ling who the last time I hashed was a good steady Walker so imagine my horror when ding a ling went scampering off like a gazelle into the distance so I was stumped 🤔 then I looked to my side and was startled to see what appeared to be a bear towing a big Irish lump behind him I enquired to a mr paddy red belly the owner and he assured me it was a dog but I will have a closer inspection from afar next week , I briefly saw FRB Hong ting tong and head ball cock racing out of sight in the distance so as they were a no no i tagged onto the back of a Canadian I will now refer to as blind Pugh! after not seeing any hashers ahead of us I quickly
came to the conclusion we were not on the correct trail so got my hash book out and read RULE number 1 follow paper , I retraced my steps and along with mr Pugh picked up the trail again , we passed the youngsters who were chattering and seemed to be enjoying themselves , I had been told they were heard singing on the trail previously so imagine my surprise half way round when I heard the dulcet sound of whispering grass only to see swindlers pissed run past me ! I looked round for Windsor Davies but he didn’t appear
I was flagging now and after being passed by old Mac Donald cathusalem blind Pugh and uncle tom cobley I was thinking I might not get home but then my flared nostrils smelt it and just when I thought I know that smell 🧐 I saw a mr mannfred who was behind me suddenly kick in his turbo and race off into the distance then I realised what the smell was and it was the smell of a chang beer being opened ! I raced after mannfred but it was to no avail as when I eventually got to the finish all the deck chairs were taken and mannfred was on his third chang😩 you can rest assure that from now on when you see mannfred on the trail I won’t be far behind him. Rubber duck took the circle and the hares got a thumbs up for a very good trail and some hashers got suitably punished for misdeeds etc then on to on after where a nice meal and chin wag was enjoyed. It was really nice to see old and new friends and I was happy to see some younger friends of Tinks daughter orange pippin as I think it’s a bit of a different world out there now for them compared with the older brigade👍 lastly I’d just like to thank all the hares and committee of hashes for the excellent work they put in to provide a fun exercise and social scene for people. Also a big get better soon to drag queen and CIAF who have been poorly recently. Well done to everyone who took part and if anyone wants to sue me my lawyer a Mr J Noble Daggert will be pleased to hear from you.
Regards Dimwit
Run #472: 25-Nov-23
Hares: Bent Banana & Brambles Bill
Location: Near to Steak Lang Khao restaurant, top of hill Soi 88
GPS Coordinates: 12.556190, 99.929232
On After: Steak Lang Khao restaurant
Run #471: 11-Nov-23
Hares: Scrotum Head & Black Buttocks
Location: Near to Stamford International University
GPS Coordinates: 12.636258, 99.923555
On After: Chai Nat Kitchen, Soi 2
Photo by Easy Off
Run #470: 28-Oct-23
Hares: Swindlers Pissed and Rubber Duck
Location: Near Good Moon restaurant
GPS Coordinates: 12.542120, 99.912794
On After: Good Moon Restaurant
Run #469: 14-Oct-23
Hares: Head Ballcock and Onefer
Location: Next to Wat Chang Thaeng Krachat
GPS Coordinates: 12.687088, 99.875396
On After: Billabong Restaurant
Run #468: 30-Sep-23
Hares: Paddy Red Belly & Rubber Duck
Location: Behind "The Peak" condo Soi 88
GPS Coordinates: 12.5531458, 99.9336573
On After: Steak Lang Khao restaurant
Photos by Donga with Relive scan
Tinks's version of last Saturdays CAH3 Walkers trail set by Paddy Red Belly and Rubber Duck according to his Garmin GPS tracker was 5.4 km including approximately 700 m false and off trail in a moving time of 70:19 min.
Elevation: Min 16 m, Max 67 m, Gain/Loss 114.0 m.
Maximum Slope: Ascent 16.6%, Descent 18.2%.
Start to RW Split: 2.65 km in 34:48 min.
RW Split to RW Merge: 0.15 km in 1:59 min.
RW Merge to Finish: 2.6 km in 33:32 min.
Trails went anti-clockwise
Run #467: 16-Sep-23
Hares: Hugs & Cute Comer
Location: King's Project, East of Bypass, South Of Springfield Road
GPS Coordinates: 12.702306, 99.914306
On After: Araya Cafe on Chompol Road
Run #466: 02-Sep-23
Hares: Drag Queen & Donga
Location: Sirindhorn International Environmental Park
GPS Coordinates: 12.704958, 99.957438
On After: Platoo Restaurant
Yesterday’s CAH3 Walkers trail set by Drag Queen and Donga according to my Garmin GPS tracker was 4.8 km in a moving time of 61:53 min. (5 km when adding the delayed start on my GPS)
Start to RW Split: 1.1 km in 17:18 min.
RW Split to RW Merge: 0.13 km in 1:35 min.
RW Merge to Finish: 3.5 km in 43:00 min.
Trail went clockwise